


Unexpected

by littlesolo



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 03:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2176527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesolo/pseuds/littlesolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha being assigned as a new asset's mentor was unexpected. So was Natasha's liking her and relating to her. This was also true for Maria who was to be the asset's handler. Phil hadn't known the couple would become so attached the asset, but he wasn't complaining. Blackhill Martasha. Summer Glau as Fidget Soto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Phil Coulson saw something in the girl that he'd seen once before in another operative. He saw it the moment he looked at her and it nearly caused him to stumble. For this reason, he made Natasha her mentor and Maria her handler. It was an odd arrangement, but they managed. Of course, both agents protested profusely at first. All he asked was that they look in on her and look after her a bit. It was a simple enough task seeing as the girl wasn't speaking at the moment due to a throat injury.

Both agents looked over the girl's file and it didn't take long for Natasha to see the similarities between them. The girl had been taken when she was young and experimented on, her brain specifically. The amygdala, in an effort to rid her of fear and compassion. It hadn't worked out that way. They had simply made a skilled assassin who was occasionally overwhelmed by emotions that she didn't know what to do with.

When it came to her skill set, she rivaled Tony when it came to creating things but due to her regenerative abilities, not much seemed to be able to stop her either when it came to missions. Natasha had caved first and agreed to act as her mentor. This is where Phil's unexpected fun began.

The girl had no real first name, the initial "C" followed by the surname Soto having been on the files SHIELD had found about her, which weren't many. Within the first week though, Natasha had taken to calling her Fidget. The girl had been spending time with Banner, taking apart things and improving them, and watching him work. She had asked him questions about how he controlled his emotions and he'd been answering as honestly as possible.

Natasha first evaluated the girl in a sparring session. Maria had cleared the area so that only she, Phil, Clint, and Bruce could observe. The first disconcerting thing was that Fidget didn't seem to paying attention. She swayed a bit on the mats as if she was dancing to a song in her head as Natasha stretched. Clint had crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back against the wall. He'd observed the girl as well but he wasn't sure what to make of her. Maria was concerned that she spent too much time in her own head. Soto could get the job done, no question but when it came to her drifting mind she was worried it would get the girl killed.

Soto wasn't even facing her when Natasha first struck but the girl used the Spider's momentum to flip her while twisting her arm and striking a blow between her shoulder blades. Natasha knew she'd been aiming for the area right below her neck and was honestly a bit impressed by how close the girl had come. Soto seemed to glide across the mat, putting a fair distance between the two. Her face held an expression of curiousness while she waited for Natasha to make her next move.

Nobody other than Clint and Maria were able to able to read and anticipate what Natasha was going to do in a fight, but this girl seemed to. The girl danced clear of another of Natasha's strikes and that's when she saw it. As she moved, it was literally a dance move. Ballet, specifically. Natasha smirked and Soto seemed to realize that something had changed as a look passed over her face. From that point, their sparring seemed to move at an increasingly rapid and aggressive pace, ending only when the two had each other pinned and neither was willing to yield.  

* * *

 

Clint didn't mind staying home with Phil from a few missions, especially when his last mission with Natasha had gotten his hair a bit burned (in addition to his other more severe injuries). Soto had been accompanying Natasha recently and things had been going well. At least that was until their target in Berlin had called Soto "Little Mouse" right before Natasha shot him. Natasha watched her go slightly pale and then she'd been silent until the debriefing.

Maria had had an exhausting day and had been looking forward to coming home and curling up with her girlfriend. So, seeing her girlfriend watching Nero Wolfe with Fidget asleep on her shoulder didn't exactly make her thrilled. Seeing her come in, Natasha whispered something in Fidget's ear and then tucked her in on the sofa.

"Something happened" explained Natasha to her girlfriend once they'd retreated to their bedroom upstairs.

"What?" asked Maria, knowing that it had to be something pretty big for her not to trust the SHIELD doctors with it.

"I don't know." They spent the night sleeping in the living room sleeping curled together but in view of Fidget. At one point, Maria had awoken during the night to hear the girl waking up from a nightmare. Opening her eye as little as possible, she that Soto was a sweaty mess. As she moved towards them, she closed her eye and resumed her slow breathing. The feel of fingers checking for her pulse nearly made her jump out of her skin. Soto checked for Natasha's too while murmuring "they're real, they're real" softly to herself.  

* * *

 

When Hydra emerged Maria went to Fidget to have the chips made that would stop the auto targeting systems rather than someone obvious like Stark. Afterwards, Maria and Natasha searched for her. Neither of them took the news that she'd been captured by Hydra well.  

* * *

 

**AN: Please review! Getting to more Maria/Natasha, just getting things going!**


	2. Chapter 2

Their relationship had started six months before New York.

Maria had let Sharon take her out for drinks and to unwind. The beer had helped but the TMNT video game against the wall was providing more fun than she'd had in ages. Having beaten the first three levels with Sharon, she never saw Natasha coming, much less enter the bar.

"Never would have pegged you for a gamer, Hill" commented Natasha as she watched the turtles battle it out on screen.

"Romanov, I am off duty and saving the world as a turtle. Unless you're going to insert a quarter, go away." Natasha watched a moment longer, finding the way Maria's tongue poked out a little when she was concentrating adorable, before choosing Mikey as her turtle. Sharon snorted.

"Appropriate choice" she muttered, concentrating just as hard as Maria.

"Same to the both of you, Leonardo and Raphael. What? No regular old Mario games for you, Maria?" asked Natasha, wishing the buttons responded faster.

"Any princess that gets captured over and over is stupid. Put a tracker on her and give her a can of mace. April O'Neil is awesome and is willing to go the extra mile to get the story and not even mutant turtles will scare her off" remarked Maria, causing Sharon to try and hide a grin at her enthusiasm.

"I bet you two collected Micro Machines too, didn't you?" asked Natasha, frowning and inserting another quarter.

"What's wrong with Micro Machines? The submarine was awesome! I swiped it from my brother Kevin" remarked Sharon. One boss battle and half a level later, Sharon had to go and Natasha discovered that they had their names four different places on the high score list. Maria and Natasha found themselves grabbing a couple of slices of pizza to go and eating them on a bench and watching the skateboarders across the street.

"We should do this again sometime" said Natasha, breaking the comfortable silence they'd fallen into. Natasha had been fine until she noticed Maria giving her an odd look. "What?"

"Are you being serious?" asked Maria, watching the spy's face.

She'd been the subject of bets before. So had Melinda May, but  _she'd_  solved her problem by tossing the agent from the bar's second story balcony into the pool. Maria didn't want to go that route only because it seemed like too much trouble when she'd been trying to relax. She was open to tasing though. To her credit though, Natasha did seem a bit flustered now.

"Yes, I was being serious, but if you don't want to just say so" replied Natasha, her mask falling back into place.

"Okay, then" answered Maria, who then resumed eating her pizza.

 _Okay then?_  Only Maria Hill could make asking her out on a date so complicated. Natasha wasn't entirely sure she'd even agreed. Had she just agreed that Natasha had been serious or that she'd go out with her sometime? As a spy, she'd been trained in subtleties, but the Maria she'd seen playing an arcade game was vastly different from the Maria she normally saw on the helicarrier. But they went out again. Actually, it became sort of a thing.

* * *

When the whole New York incident began, she'd been pulled out of an op to get Banner. She'd been flying back with Banner when she called the helicarrier to update them on their ETA. Someone answered that Coulson was with Fury and Hill was in Medical, finally being looked over from after the cave in. Natasha ended the call (without bothering with the update) and settled in her seat. Banner raised an eyebrow at her in question but Natasha merely shook her head. She turned to one of the other soldiers on the jet.

" _Hey, what can you tell me about the cave in?_ "

* * *

 

She escorted Banner and Rogers to the deck and checked what the update on Clint was before managing to come up behind Maria. She fingers had only just brushed Maria's elbow when Maria let out a hiss of pain. Maria whirled around ready to unleash on whatever low level agent bothered her, but her face calmed when she saw it was Natasha. At least, that was until she realized Natasha's glare was still aimed at her.

"A  _cave in?_ "

"I had to follow Loki and Barton!" explained Maria, knowing how the Hawk and Spider were practically siblings.

"That not what I'm mad about, and you know it!" growled Natasha. However, as she looked at the Assistant Director's face, she could see she didn't. This made Natasha madder since she knew she was possibly the least qualified person to explain feelings and emotions to another person. Normally, Clint would explain it to her and then if was still confused, Coulson did. She dragged Maria to her empty office and shut the door behind them and locked it. She then turned Maria around and abruptly lifted her shirt and uniform, exposing the bruising on her shoulder and side and where it probably extended to her arm.

"Natasha!" exclaimed Maria as she jerked back. She'd been utterly confused as the spy had dragged her to her own office. Fixing her uniform, she could still feel the full force of Natasha's glare. "It's- not important. I'll be fine. We just have to concentrate on finding Loki" reasoned Maria. She didn't want to think about the cave in. Didn't want to think about how she heard Phil tell the other agents to leave the equipment and get to the choppers over the radio. Didn't want to think about how she knew she was hearing Fury's voice from the chopper with Phil and how they were safe while she wasn't even sure if she could get out or if the tunnel would hold. If she'd ever see Natasha again. One moment she was absorbed in her thoughts, stuck in the crumbling rock and dirt of the tunnel, and the next moment Natasha's lips were on hers. Her lips were soft and warm and in that moment Maria forgot all about how much her right side ached. When Natasha pulled back, Maria kept her hand on her cheek.

"The Assistant Director has to stay alive, she's pretty damn important around here" murmured Natasha. Maria's eyes dropped but Natasha lifted her chin to meet her gaze again. "We also have a date later, and I've been looking forward to it." Natasha pecked her lips again. Maria took a deep breath and nodded, a smile on her face.

"Before I forget, I sent Fidget to go look after Foster and her intern" commented Maria as they headed back out. She gave Natasha's hand a squeeze and then headed back to her post at her monitors.

* * *

Natasha's run from the Hulk.

Phil's death.

The massive alien attack.

The nuke and almost losing Stark.

All of these were a lot to handle. That night, they held each other close in Maria's quarters, reassuring each other that they'd survived. When Fidget returned the next morning, she approached them both cautiously and placed her fingers on both their wrists. Once that was done, she wrapped them both in a hug with a sigh of relief.

This was when Maria saw how Fidget brought out another side of Natasha. Natasha had gone to the required therapist visits and tried talking about the events to Maria, but it wasn't working out and left Natasha feeling more frustrated. Her training had conditioned her to ignore her feelings and she was extremely skilled at what she did which was what made all of this frustrating.

She found Fidget waiting inside the apartment she shared with Maria one evening when she got home. When Maria came home a few hours later, she realized that Natasha had found the one person who knew somewhat what she was going through with her emotions. Natasha was an assassin, she rode on an alien craft through New York, and had interrogated Loki. She'd done it all without hesitation. Which is why it had taken her a moment to realize what she'd been feeling after Thor had taken over the fight with the Hulk.  _Absolute terror._  She had been frozen in fear. It had been so long since she had felt it, she hadn't recognized it or known what to do with it. Maria had waited with her while the doctors checked out Clint. The thoughts had still been vivid in her mind but she couldn't even find words to explain it. Maria had seemed to sense this and had simply held her hand. She felt ashamed for letting something fear paralyze her. Fidget seemed to understand. She was having trouble with the Hulk having chased after Natasha.

In the way that Natasha went to Clint and Coulson for advice when it came to adjusting, Fidget had gone to Bruce. He had supervised as she invented things and answered her questions as she tried to relate to people again. She felt betrayed by the Hulk going after one of the people she held closest to her. Natasha tried to explain that he'd lost control and hadn't meant to. Also, that he'd apologized. It wasn't until she related it to an instance where Fidget had nearly lost control of herself that she understood.

They had been hunting a scientist named Bulgar and he had taunted her. With a bullet in his leg, he had said he knew what they had done to her mind, shaving bits away that she'd never need, that at least someone was benefiting from their fine work. Did she know that parts of her amygdala weren't all they took? That they took her eggs as well? Science evolves and progresses and to do so they would need subjects and who better to choose from than one that was already a success?

Natasha had known what he was doing and knew that Fidget probably did too. The man would rather die than reveal what he considered to be his life's greatest work. Still, Fidget was gone and Soto stood before her, the trained assassin they had molded. In that moment, Natasha had wondered if she'd looked like that to Clint when he found her. Over the time she and Maria had spent with here, they'd drawn out her sarcastic wit and love of dance. What stood in front of her now was a shell of a person with empty eyes. Soto wasn't there with them, she was reliving what they'd done to her. Natasha made sure she saw her approach and then wrapped herself around her from behind. They needed the scientist alive. She whispered in Soto's ear and tried to talk her down. She didn't use logic like Coulson might have or wit and a slight trick like Clint.

"Show him that all he's worked for, all his science means nothing and that you're more than his neural mapping and MRIs." The gun didn't lower, but the bullet went into his hip instead of his head, making sure he'd never stand up straight ever again.

When Natasha related the Hulk's attack to that, Fidget grew quiet and nodded after a few moments. She had not been herself, not in control of herself at all. Maria had overheard everything but none of it would leave the apartment. Losing Phil had been a blow to them all and Clint had disappeared to deal with it on his own. Maria might have initially been a bit mad that Fidget had broken in for these chats, but after them Natasha seemed lighter. She'd found a way to deal with something that Maria suspected the spy hadn't ever known was a problem. She had already grown attached to the young operative, but her affection for the girl grew at seeing Natasha able to smile more.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil watched Maria deal with Soto and couldn't help but remember how hard it had been for him and Clint to get Natasha adjusted to being around people again. From this side of things, Phil found it entertaining to watch, but he had to resort to hiding his smirks and grins behind folders when Maria was near or fear for his life.

* * *

Soto's quarters became an issue when books and sketches tumbled out when the door was opened. An ipod was sitting on top of a back shelf playing music almost constantly but it was Clint's old one and not all her taste. The room itself wasn't much larger than a janitor's closet, but Soto didn't seem to mind. She was used to small spaces having used them to her advantage numerous times. The technical sketches and books had made Sitwell nervous.

Maria got her a small loft apartment that had an odd layout, but seemed to fit the new operative somehow. The first time Maria and Natasha visited, books were stacked all over and a hammock hung in the corner, providing a clear line of sight to the door while keeping her out of any enemy's fire. Other than that, there were a few pencils and pens and a large butcher roll of paper in the corner. Maria had to admit, it had more stuff in it than Natasha's did the first time Coulson visited but it still lacked basics. Like a bed. Or dishes. Glancing at the book titles, they seemed to mostly be history related. There were also a number of books on engineering and virology, undoubtably gifts from Stark and Banner. Stark had been working on creating a new design for the helicarriers given all the problems during Loki's attack. Against Sitwell's many protests, Stark had hired Fidget as a private contractor and so far she was responsible for about forty percent of the new air ship's designs.

Tired of stumbling over books, Maria had ordered bookcases and gotten Steve and Sam to help build and set them up. Fidget collected the books and movies, always planning to get to them later.

Natasha was the first to notice that something was off.

She and Maria were over pretty often since it wasn't too far from their place and sometimes gave Fidget a ride in. Picking her up one morning, Natasha noticed that some of the books had been replaced and that all the spines had been cracked on the three level bookcase by the door, the books having been read through. The stack of drawings seemed larger as well.

Natasha's thoughts drifted back to when Coulson had gotten her an apartment. "To store your personal things and clothes and stuff" he and Clint had explained. The place had been small, even by New York standards, but Natasha didn't know what to do with so much space. At least on the carrier she could always wander down to the training room, but here there was nothing. Which according to everyone, was a problem.  _Her_  problem was that she'd been trained not to leave anything behind. Walkthrough a door way, you were someone new. New identity, new hobbies, new life. Why would you need or  _want_  things that connected you to your old one? It looked like now that Fidget was experiencing a bit of real freedom, she had gone a bit overboard. However, this fit in nicely with her other problem.

The quiet had driven Natasha crazy at first. She kept listening for attackers, and that was only after she had convinced herself that SHIELD hadn't sent her out of their protection to be killed by any number of her enemies. Sharon Carter had been the one who noticed that she hadn't been sleeping and recommended having a tv play softly at night to help her sleep. At first she'd thought the agent was stupid, since it would only cover the sound of any attack. Setting up her Netflix queue to play Law and Order episodes nonstop did get her to sleep peacefully though. She was a sucker for Lennie Briscoe's wit.

Once she started sleeping over at Maria's though, she didn't need anything playing. The soothing sounds of Maria's breathing and heart beat were enough to keep the demons that usually visited her at night away. On the rare occasion she did have a nightmare, Maria was there. She knew what their lives were so she didn't bother with promises like "I'll keep you safe" or "I'll always be here for you."

Maria also didn't ask questions. Not when Natasha lurched awake and frantically checked Maria's body for injury, not when she threw an elbow or punch as she woke (which meant they spent breakfast coming up with a ridiculous story to tell anyone stupid or brave enough to ask what happened to Maria's eye), or even when she woke with violent sobs but couldn't stand to be touched at all. Maria was just...there.

After the first time she'd woken up sobbing, Natasha had come home to find something called an Ugly Doll on the table. Apparently, this particular doll had turned himself into a teddy bear after being teased for carrying a teddy bear. The stuffed toy was utterly ridiculous and adorable. Maria knew that she would talk when and if she wanted to about her nightmares, but until then she was giving Natasha someone to hug in the event she wasn't home or didn't want to be touched.

Natasha hadn't realized it at the time, this odd feeling of warmth in her chest. She was falling in love with Maria. She knew Clint and Phil loved her too, in their own way, but sometimes their brand of love became overwhelming for someone who was just learning the term as something positive. Maria was offering her support and letting her know she cared in a small way. One that Natasha could handle better than Clint's awkward offers to talk about her nightmares or Coulson's offer to set her up with a shrink. It also didn't hurt that the creature was very soft and huggable.

* * *

Maria had been pulled into some late night security issue meeting by Sitwell and had cursed him for almost a full five minutes in a variety of languages, two of which Natasha wasn't fluent in but the obvious vulgar meanings had the spy smiling over the phone. Natasha texted Maria that she'd be dropping in on their little operative and might be staying the night. Also that if she planned to join them to not forget the egg rolls.

She knocked and then let herself in with the key she'd been given. Fidget had given one to Maria as well since they were the only two people she trusted. But they knew it wasn't for emergencies as much as she didn't want her door to have to be replaced every time some SHIELD agent wanted to check in on her.

She found Fidget curled up on a couch with Mary Shelly's Frankenstein in her hands.

"Late reading before bed?" asked Natasha as she settled herself across the matching overstuffed chair. Fidget shrugged.

"I've developed a love of horror in both literature and film" stated Fidget as she set down her book.

"Please tell me Tony or Clint didn't introduce you to Twilight" begged Natasha as she made a face.

"God, no! Boris Karloff and Vincent Pryce! I like the old literature too though. Dracula, Jekyll and Hyde, the Wolfman. They come across with a classic air about them that makes them elegant in a way despite their monstrosity" explained Fidget.

"How long has it been since you've slept a good eight hours?" asked Natasha casually. She received another shrug in response but could tell that the girl wasn't entirely certain.

"At night...when there's too much quiet...that's when everything gets buggy and the fuses start to blow" explained Fidget as she twirled her finger in the air near her head. The night was spent with episodes of All in the Family playing in the background and egg rolls.

A few days later, Natasha gave her an new ipod to load with music. The two things that Fidget seemed to spend her money on in addition to books were music and movies - the movies being bought on a streaming service that also let them be downloaded so they could be watched at anytime (it came in handy while traveling to and from missions). Both seemed to aid her in getting a good night's sleep from then on. For an added measure, Maria gave her a stuffed T Rex doll.

* * *

When Sitwell decided to go through Fidget's place while she was away on a mission with Sharon, Maria and Natasha watched from the door way as he and Agent Ward started to go through the bookcases. Sitwell had never trusted Soto and didn't like how she was involved in not only missions but creating core SHIELD technology. Of course, he'd had these same suspicions when Romanov had joined them and then had gone working undercover at Stark's.

The difference was that when he had raided Natasha's place there hadn't been much more than a bed. Also, her place hadn't had it's own security system and wasn't rigged. Ward's method of "going through" the books on the shelves was throwing them all on the floor. That's when he'd spotted the hole in the spine of one of the thick volumes on top. Inside two large books aimed at the front entry were small video cameras as well as on other shelves aimed at the windows and main areas.

"Not very sophisticated" muttered Jasper as he noted them "but why would she need all the surveillance if she has nothing to hide?"

"I don't know. With people going through her home while she's away, why would she  _possibly_  feel paranoid?" asked Natasha aloud, earning her a glare from Ward that she answered with with a smirk. He was right though, the cameras were really low tech and not her style, which was why Ward should really have expected the pair of Wasps.

Fidget's Wasps were a way for her to monitor her perimeter for danger but also transmit a live feed back to Maria when she was acting as her handler. Usually she had a group of five or six around her. Ward stared at the two metallic buzzing things and slowly started to reach for his gun. It took him about three seconds too long. The Wasps scanned him and since his face didn't match Fidget's database of people allowed in her home, the flying drones let out a high pitched hum for a moment and then hit him with 120 volts. The man fell like a tree. Sitwell spun around and ran to his fallen agent's side.

"She assaulted an agent!" barked Jasper looking over at Maria and Natasha.

"She's not here" retorted Natasha.

"Also, one could argue she was thwarting an intruder in her home" argued Maria.

* * *

When she got home, Soto hadn't really been bothered by the mess, only worried that something had happened to her T rex or the jacket Natasha had given her as a gift. Knocking out Ward though, that had made her night.


	4. Chapter 4

There were so many fragmented memories in her mind, that Natasha had no idea what were her actual childhood memories and what were things she'd seen. Leaving after a kill, waiting in a train station, the occasional returning a child to their parents. In those moments she observed, her mind sometimes tried to make those experiences her own.

* * *

She'd gone to Maria's and waited for her, the assistant director's opinion being the only one she felt she could trust. At the time, they had been more acquaintances than friends. Which was why Maria simultaneously nearly shot her and had a heart attack at discovering the Black Widow in her home.

"Romanov? What the  _fuck!_ " shouted Maria as she pulled out one of her chairs and collapsed into it. There had been a ball that night and they'd both attended. Which was why they were both dressed in gowns and Maria looked like a Bond girl with the gun still in her hand. Studying the face of the spy, Maria realized something was very wrong. "Romanov?" Maria looked at her for another moment before going and getting changed into a pair of yoga pants and an old t-shirt. She returned and found the red head right where she'd left her and handed her a pair of clothes to change into. While her guest changed behind her, Maria set about making a couple of sandwiches and slicing up some apples. Setting a plate on the coffee table, she motioned for the spy to join her. If they were going to talk, they were at least going to be comfortable, although removing her heels from earlier had done a great job of that for the most part.

The red head settled next to her, still caught up in her own thoughts and a lost look on her face. Maria just waited. Whatever was on the operative's mind seemed to be causing her a great deal of distress and while Maria was fairly sure Natasha wouldn't kill her, she didn't want to push her before she was ready. Less than an hour ago she had seen her swirling across the floor with Stark.

"Are they true? You're the Assistant Director, you've read my file. You'd know, right?" whispered Natasha. Maria knew that the questions were meant for her but couldn't tell if Natasha had really intended to ask them aloud.

"Is what true? I'll answer whatever questions you have, but you'll have to give me a hint as to what you mean" asked Maria gently.

"Did I ever dance?" Maria took a deep breath and scooted back into the sofa so that she could look Natasha right in the eye.

"You did. When you were very young. Ballet. You were very good." She tried to explain it calmly but not in a way that might offend.

"How? How can you know?" The desperation in her voice and tears in her eyes cause Maria's heart to break. Sitting next to her wasn't an assassin, but a woman who had had to grow up too fast because she'd had her childhood ripped from her. Here sat a woman, who in clothes a bit too long for her and a plea on her face, was in some ways still a child looking for answers.

"When SHIELD first started looking into you, a team was assigned to figure out how you caught the interest of the Red Room. Most theories revolved around you being an orphan or your parents giving you up in return for power." Natasha's eyes seemed to grow more distant as she spoke so Maria gently turned her chin to meet her gaze. "Neither of those theories had any evidence to support them. One was presented Agent Turin and you know how he likes his theories to sound like some Tom Clancy novel." A hint of a smile appeared on Natasha's face and Maria could tell she had her full attention again. "I went and checked out the most prestigious ballet schools and then the best instructors. My theory being that the Red Room would be looking for not only beauty in it's female operatives, but fluidity and agility. It was a ballet class that took place in a boxing gym. A picture of one of your class's previous performances had made the paper, and there you were with your arms outstretched and your legs perfectly poised for a graceful landing. You looked to be about six or seven in the photo." Natasha turned and looked at her hands in her lap. Lifting her head slightly, she seemed to notice the food for the first time.

"Tony dances with everyone at events. You were very graceful by the way. You almost couldn't tell that he nearly stepped on you twice" said Natasha softly. Maria smiled, having enjoyed an evening of dancing, even if her feet had been in danger more than once of being crushed. "When he spun me though, it...it seemed different...familiar. And then the lights seemed too bright and I wasn't sure..." The end of whatever she was thinking faded into a whisper that Maria couldn't make out and then the red head was nibbling on a sandwich.

Maria thought about her own childhood. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but she had a cousin, Ellen, who was more like an older sister and then she had Phil as sort of a brother. Director Fury was something like that older sibling that was mostly off at college and when he came home, he was hiding something from the parents and it was more than the injury that was still healing. It was by no means perfect, and given that it had two brothers it was often aggravating, but she had a family such as it was.

Natasha had finished the sandwich and was finishing off the apples when she started speaking again.

"I see them all the time. Little family moments. A Father making sure his daughter's coat has her fully bundled up against the cold, a Mother who is holding her son's hand as they walk down the train platform, families sitting down to a meal in a booth at a diner. Sometimes my mind can't tell if something I remember is an actual memory of my childhood or simply something I saw. I can't even remember my parent's faces" explained the assassin as she wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I'm not sure if it counts for anything, but in the photo you're smiling. A real smile I mean, not one just for the performance. I can make a copy of the photo for your file and give you the original in the morning if you'd like."

Natasha turned to look at her senior officer, knowing that of anyone, no one knew better that doing such a thing would be against regulations but she was willing to do so anyway. For her. She supposed it was why she had sought her out. She didn't need Coulson's "understanding" but still Level 10 only clearance for answers or Clint's pity and reassurance that he was her family now. She knew that already. Maria Hill in addition to being one of the people with a high enough clearance to know and despite her reputation for being a bit cold, was know for being honest and thorough. Something she must have been thinking about when she left the event, because she didn't remember walking here and she was pretty sure she would since she had been wearing heels. She'd probably had enough sense to take them off. Still, breaking in and then sitting in the dark of the Assistant Director's home wasn't the wisest thing she'd ever done. Had the roles been reversed, Hill would have been met with a bullet, not a PB and J and apples.

Maria had sensed the spy growing tired, so while she was still caught up in her thoughts, she went and got a pillow and blanket for her to use. Natasha was pulled from her thoughts as Maria removed her plate and set a glass of water on the coffee table. Coming back and seeing Natasha make herself comfortable on sofa, Maria tucked her in. Without thinking, she kissed Natasha's forehead before wishing her goodnight.

That was how their friendship had really gotten started, Natasha being surprised but still comforted by the gesture, and Maria going to her room feeling herself blush and wondering what the hell had she been thinking.

* * *

There were private training rooms where people sometimes went to spar. The sound of classical music was what had drawn Natasha down the corridor. Since Natasha had just been smiling at her before suddenly turning down the corridor, Maria followed after her. When they reached the door the music was coming from they looked through the door's window to see Fidget inside dancing ballet. Steve had joined them and watched a softness come over Natasha's face. They'd all seen the video file that Sharon had recovered from a Hydra lab on Soto. She looked to be fourteen years old at best when the footage was taken. They were asking permission to "challenge her further" not letting her know it would include experimentation on her body and mind. All she had wanted to know was if she'd still be able to dance.

While Natasha was glad to see they'd let her keep her love of dance, she couldn't help but think of all the things they'd taken from her instead. Fidget had no idea what her first name was, or last name for that matter - she only had the files to tell her that her surname was Soto. Whether it actually was or it was what had been assigned to her was anybody's guess.

Fidget spun on the tips of her toes and continued across the room. Maria watched as she moved flawlessly in a dance that for once they could also hear the music to. Working with Soto and having been partnered with Natasha more than once, she watched as the girl brought her dance to an end, her hands forming the shadow of a bird against the ceiling light. Maria was one of the few people who knew how those same graceful feet could leave death in their wake.

* * *

Steve shifted on his feet for a moment before leaving. He was still unnerved by Fidget, unclear as to why she was going out on missions since she was still hardly talking to anyone. What he didn't know was that she spoke a the time with Maria and Natasha as well as Bruce and Director Fury. It all came down to trust with her, and while Steve was a very friendly guy, Maria had a feeling that as long as he remained suspicious he'd get nothing but radio silence from her.

Ward had tried to force sound out of her in the training area only to be slammed into the floor and walls more times than he could remember. It didn't help matters that Fidget bested him each time with the smallest amount of exertion needed. Her favorite method when it came to Ward was using his own moves against him, whether it be the momentum from his kick or his punch to her face that left his legs braced wide enough for her to slide through and send a fast kick to his kidneys.

* * *

One thing that had become somewhat common was both Fidget and Natasha falling asleep in her office. Natasha usually came in after a mission to wait for Maria to be done for the day rather than wait alone at their home. Fidget would come in either to escape whatever doctors Coulson had set her up with or just to rest a while. Both assassins trusted her completely and knew she would keep them safe. Which is the only reason when an engineer dropped his tool kit outside her office, neither of them launched straight up with a weapon at the ready, much to Director Fury's surprise. In fact, Fidget had simply furrowed her brow before turning and snuggling further into her chair.

If her little family had seemed odd before, it now included two assassins. One who she was in love with and the other who wasn't quite a child she'd adopted, but not exactly the younger sibling you were constantly telling not to touch things either. It was unclear what she was, but she fit with the rest of her family just the same.

* * *

**AN: Fidget's past I'm taking mostly from Firefly but as to her capture and up coming chapters as to where she's being held think more alone the lines of the pods in the Resident Evil Afterlife movie. Still more Maria/Natasha to come, Fidget just gives me a way for them to reflect/remember.**


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken a while for anyone to notice that Fidget was missing. Natasha had been busy getting the information for Steve and then testifying, Maria was dealing with fielding questions from multiple governmental officials, and Sharon was making sure that " _Peggy Carter - former flame of Captain America_ " was being left in peace and undisturbed by reporters- by what ever means necessary.

Once Aunt Peggy was settled, Sharon started searching the safe houses that Fidget was most likely to be staying in. She had been checking her phone to see if Maria or Nat had heard from her and was now checking the fourth possible place. She hadn't even reached the door yet but her gun was drawn and she had speed dialed Coulson. As skilled as Soto was, there was no way she would leave the front door ajar. The interior of the apartment was in shambles, which was impressive since there hadn't been much there. What alarmed her though was the amount of blood splatter. A quick run through the apartment revealed no sign of her partner but turned up what looked to be two darts and two sets of taser prongs. She reported all of this to Coulson and told him to let Maria and Natasha know first. There were three fatal sized blood pools so Sharon took comfort in the fact that Fidget had taken out some of the attackers. The fact that they had been thorough enough to remove the bodies made her nervous.

She waited for Maria and Nat outside next to her car. She and Fidget worked well together. She was able to go on missions and also keep up her cover of working at the hospital. It also let her look in on her Aunt who she loved dearly, but was now confusing her for her Mother and asking after Steve. Something that would become even more complicated since Steve would hold being a Carter against her and seeing it as using Peggy as a way to get to him. Sharon rolled her eyes. If she and her Aunt had anything in common, it was wanting to prove that she was just as capable as any of the guys and not using her name to do it.

* * *

Their first lead on Fidget had them going to Amsterdam so they shared the flight with Rogers and Wilson. Sharon and Sam were sitting opposite them, chatting and joking, and Natasha sat next to Steve, Maria's head resting on her shoulder as she slept. She could sense that Steve didn't understand why she was going after Fidget. The two hadn't exactly spent much time together. Steve had probably spent more time with Thor than he had Fidget.

"You know that when Clint was sent after me, it was to kill me" said Natasha quietly, getting Steve's attention. He nodded.

"Yeah, and instead he brought you back and you became one of SHIELD's best operatives" answered Steve, not seeing where this was going.

"Coulson was just speaking off hand, not to be mean or anything, but he said getting Fidget to adjust was easier than it was for him and Clint with me."

"Natasha-."

"I look at her and wonder if that's what Clint and Phil saw when I was still adjusting. Were they constantly worried about sharp objects? About objects in general? Or just how far people made sure to stay away from me to avoid attack."

"I'm sure that's not what they thought about you at all. They trust you with their lives and so do I."

"Maybe, but Fidget can tell that's what you're thinking when you look at her. It wasn't until we were at Sam's that you told me that you'd trust me to save your life, but we'd already been on a bunch of missions before that. We'd already fought together in New York against Loki and his alien army. You didn't trust me all that time." Natasha had already come to terms with all of this, she was just stating it all for Steve. Steve couldn't do much more than open and close his mouth a few times and run a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry Natasha. As for Soto, I just remember that mission..."

Natasha remembered, she remembered better than any of them. Maria had been captured in an ambush. Natasha had been at Stark Tower with Pepper and Tony when she'd heard. Seeing as it was Stark's place the message had been sent from Victoria Hand with photos of the scene which showed the SHIELD vehicles flipped and cut apart, the bodies of both SHIELD agents and attackers scattered about. Her chest had suddenly felt tight and she'd started to shake. Pepper and Tony and helped her to sit down, Tony for once not bothering to make a joke and getting her a bottle of water instead. She'd known that Maria had come to mean a lot to her, but the thought of never being able to see her again brought with it terrifying clarity. She was in love with her.

The rescue had consisted of those that were on hand, not wanting to call too much attention to the fact that Assistant Director of SHIELD had been captured. Natasha, Tony, and Steve were headed to Ukraine and it wasn't until the jet began to land that Fidget made her presence known. Natasha had sighed and turned to her.

"If I tell you to stay in the jet are you going to?" Fidget had raised an incredulous eyebrow at her. "I didn't think so." She understood. Fidget's main rule was family above all, and Maria and Natasha were her family.

Inside things got hectic fast. Fidget's main weapons tended to be her wrist wire, gun, and combat knife. When Natasha and Steve caught up with her down a far corridor, there was an overwhelming presence of blood and bodies scattered through out. Steve heard Fidget speak for the first time when her head popped around the corner.

"Found her."

By this time, Tony had caught up but he and Steve were running to keep up with Natasha who had taken off after Fidget. It hadn't been easy, but something certainly seemed off. A door appeared and sealed Tony and Steve off from them as a team of twenty came to take down Natasha and Soto. Fidget waved Natasha on while she drew out her wire into a loop. While Natasha went to get Maria, Fidget wrapped the loop around the first attacker's neck and let pull tight as she dodged around another and let the wire cut into both of their throats. The first two having dropped, she pulled the body still attached closer and flicked her wrist to release the wire while tangling her legs with two more and ending them with her knife. The wire's next catch was the wrist of an attacker who had decided to pull his gun. Wrapping the rest of the length around throats as she leapt and danced her way through, she dropped to the ground and gave a ferocious pull which resulted in a massive blood spill and a decapitated wrist. She finished the remaining men with her gun and a cold precision. Natasha re-emerged from the doorway she'd gone with Maria leaning heavily against her. Fidget had run to Maria's other side and helped Natasha get her back to the jet after Tony managed to hack the door locks.  The smell of gunpowder had been over powered by the metallic scent of blood, and it wasn't something Steve could easily forget.  

Neither was the abuse Maria had endured while still refusing to break.  It had Maria a little over a week to recover to the point where she could even sit at her desk comfortably.

* * *

"With everything that just happened, don't you think people are going to question Bucky when you bring him back?" asked Natasha in what she hoped was gently or at least less bluntly than normal.

"Bucky fought with me against Red Skull!" argued Steve, refusing to believe his friend was completely gone. Personally, Natasha hoped he did help his friend. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so alone in this time.

"Do you think the people that saw him shooting at us are going to care? Are going to remember that when they think of the helicarriers that were about to wipe out two million people at once? I don't think anyone other than Clint, Coulson, Nick, Maria, and Sharon saw past the fact that I used to be KGB when I joined SHIELD. Wondered whether I was a traitor or could be counted on when an agent was in trouble. Honestly, the torment in my head was so overwhelming that betrayal was the last thing on my mind. It was more like trying to figure out which way was up." Steve thought for a long while, gazing out the window.

"You changed though."

"Really? Being named The Black Widow doesn't really give that impression, especially since that was the code name given to me by the Red Room. But I have, and so has she. She helped Tony build the new helicarriers, and then she made the discs to bring them down.  She helps me deal with things..."

"Things? Things you couldn't come to Maria or Clint or me with?"

"Yes, we're friends, but Fidget and I were trained differently and can relate to each other better. She's still figuring out how to deal with her emotions. We're making progress, it no longer causes her to experience what feels like a brain hemorrhage and the nearly unstoppable urge to scream. Coulson had a room soundproofed just for me on the carrier for when my emotions got to be too much. But she's still trying, unlike me who had resorted to sedative darts to get Clint to leave me alone by this point." Steve let out a deep long sigh and then nodded.

"Then let's go get her."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: violence/torture chapter

The decision to leave Natasha behind with Sam had been made when Nat first hacked into their camera feed to give them an idea of what they were dealing with. From Amsterdam, Natasha had "coaxed" a medical supply delivery to a remote location that had once been used by an ally of the Red Room. When the group outlived it's usefulness, they had been eliminated and an abandoned underground facility had been discovered.   
One that Natalia had spent six years of her young life forgetting that she ever used to be someone.   
That was only the first reason she wasn't going in. 

The second reason was when they came across what looked to be a medical lab area. They watched as a tube like pod emerge from the ground to reveal Soto suspended inside with wires attached to her head, neck, and chest. "I'm going in to get her" stated Natasha firmly. No, not Natasha, The Black Widow. Looking at Natasha now, Steve saw the same look about her that had unnerved him about Soto. He shook his head, he did trust Natasha with his life, but if she went in there they'd have the whole place on them in seconds.

As Sam and Maria talked tactics with Natasha, Steve noticed that Sharon was simply making sure she geared up.   
"I'm surprised you're here" commented Steve. He'd never really tried to get to know his neighbor, barely remembering her name sometimes, but he still felt betrayed by the fact that she had been planted there.   
"Well, in addition to being your neighbor and working a bit at the hospital, I still am a field agent and Soto is my partner. She's always been there for me and I'm more than happy to be able to return the favor."

  
Sharon had been given the briefing from Coulson as to Fidget and her on going progress when it came to people. Whatever her issues with other people, they got along rather well.   
At least that was after Sharon had figured out it was her. Aunt Peggy had her medical issues and Sharon did actually work at the children's ward part time. She would take note of and look out for any "gifted" children that came through due to either cases or as happenstance. However, it meant lots of time spent either in her Aunt's room or at her desk. When take out meals had started to appear, she had at first been suspicious of the intern that tended to hover around her. That was until she spotted Fidget leaving it one day. That was when she took the time to consider that the meals always were careful to avoid the things she didn't like. No onions on her subs and honey dijon dressing instead of ranch. Little things, but making sure she was taking care of herself.  

Maria was having similar thoughts as she, Steve, and Sharon went off and left a very unhappy Natasha behind with Sam. While she had been recovering from her ambush and capture, Fidget would drop in and offer her company. Not requiring anything of her while reminding her that she was safe. When Maria did feel like talking, Fidget merely listened and waited to see if Maria was actually asking for an opinion or simply working it out herself. Maria's concern was that with everything that Natasha had gone through becoming the Black Widow, her three days of being held captive must seem like child's play. She didn't think Natasha would see her as weak, it was simply that in comparison to what the spy had lived through, she felt she was making a larger deal over something Natasha might consider...par for the course? Especially for someone who was the Assistant Director of SHIELD.   
Fidget had waited until Maria had seemed to have finished expressing her worries before speaking (she had rambled and repeated herself quite a bit due to the pain meds in her system). Fidget had then pointed out that few people other than Natasha knew how hard those three days would have been to endure. Also, she would undoubtably admire the courage and strength Maria had shown in not breaking under such torment. Maria had appreciated the change in perspective as well as the stuffed cheshire cat that had appeared at her side. 

* * *

While Steve and the others made their way inside, Sam watched Natasha clench and unclench her fists as she sat with him and watched the monitors. She had argued that no one knew the facility better than her since she had lived there. This was probably true which was why she providing comms support, but that would only come into play if they got into trouble. Sam was just about to ask her about the place when the cameras flipped to Soto in an empty room that was completely white.   
Soto seemed to be regaining consciousness but what looked to be life like projections of Maria, Natasha, and Sharon appeared in front of her. They didn't have sound on their end but they didn't really need it, Soto growing increasingly panicked at their presence there. She was clearly telling them to run even as they came closer seemingly trying to calm her down. Then Sharon seemed to stutter mid-step as a bullet hole appeared on her forehead and blood began to stream down her face as she collapsed. Soto started to scoot to her but seemed afraid to touch her, turning to Natasha and Maria for help. Natasha's projection was holding her throat but it didn't stem the river of blood flowing down her neck. The projection of Maria was clutching at her chest as she collapsed, gasping. Soto was clutching at her head and scooting back into the corner of the room, away from the bodies but the blood pool seemed to follow.   
Sam and Natasha watched as Soto then kept her eyes tightly shut as she began to hyperventilate and then passed out. Inside, Maria, Sharon, and Steve had watched the scene unfold as well but with Soto's pleas for them not to die still echoing in their ears. 

"What...why would they do that to her?" asked Sam, throughly confused and feeling his heart go out to the girl.   
"To break her. What better way than to kill everyone important to her and her only hope" answered Natasha, the old lessons coming to mind, not buried as deeply as she had thought.   
"Hope for rescue?"   
"Redemption, a second chance, a new life and way of living. Call it whatever you want, it's just been bled out in front of her. And her horror kept her from helping us."   
"But you weren't really there! There was nothing she could do!"   
"We know that, but they will use it as proof. Proof that she was destined to kill and be the weapon they designed. If she were meant to save lives, she would have immediately used her field medical training to save us. Which takes care of any escape concerns, because where would she go? Anybody she trusted is now dead." Sam didn't bother pointing out that they had been lethal wounds. He realized that Natasha was simply stating fact. It's what they would say, because it had at one point been said or taught to her. He also didn't point out that the comms were open and that the others had heard, she probably already knew. 

* * *

Looking at Soto's collapsed form, Steve could see the girl that Natasha referred to. The one who was trying to change despite the fact that such attempts would have her drowning in blood. He'd thought he'd understood what Natasha meant when she said she had 'red in her ledger' but is this what she had truly meant? Were the mental marks she counted lives that she had seen end in front of her like this? Soto's face as she had watched had been a mixture of horror, panic, and desperation. Without an enemy to fight, the young woman inside emerged helpless and her emotions overwhelmed her until her body gave out. 

* * *

They had waited five long minutes to see if anyone would come to and check on her, before Sharon started to override the room locks while Natasha looped the feed. When they enter the room everything is blindingly white again, the projections gone. Maria and Sharon rush towards her but Sharon stays a few paces away when Maria gently shakes Soto awake. The girl awoke slowly before focusing on their faces and violently launching herself back away from them. Maria recognized the look in her eye, it was the same one Natasha had sometimes when she woke up from nightmares. This wasn't going to be easy. 

" _Get away from me_ " barked Soto, but he voice still cracked and her hands shook from anxiety.   
"We need to move, Soto" ordered Maria, not bothering with explanations and hoping that she would focus on the task. She seemed to for a moment, picking herself up to move forward, until her eyes locked on Rogers.   
" _ **You're not real!** If you were really here to rescue me, **he** wouldn't be here!_ " growled Soto, digging her nails into her temples in frustration. Sharon lunged forward and grabbed Soto's hand, wrestling with her until it was placed at her throat and Soto could feel her pulse. Her breathing slowed down to normal and the wildness left her eyes as she met each of their faces, turning back to Sharon's with a question on her lips. "Yes, even Captain Flashback is here" replied Sharon with a roll of her eyes as she helped her friend up. 

Or tried to. Soto stumbled back, but when she fell her skin seemed to light up with red and angry wounds and scars. Some were faded and some looked fresh. There were cuts and gashes as well as bullet wounds and areas were explosives had blown away parts of her but had regenerated. It all rippled across her skin and was gone in a moment but it had Soto curled up in agonizing pain.

Rogers hefted her onto his back, knowing that at any other time the operative would find this hilarious. Maria recovered the data mining bugs that she had placed on the computers that were collecting data from the room. They were copying data onto drives back where Sam and Natasha were waiting. Maria had gotten them from Stark, remembering the devices he had used to try and hack into the helicarrier for information. Whatever else they'd done to Soto, they were going to figure out if it could be healed in some way.  

* * *

The extraction had gone smoothly until the last leg where they were spotted by a group of guards coming on shift. They'd gotten away, but rather than destroy the base, they had crippled it with an EMP that had been modified to preserve all data as it was rather than wipe it. One of Stark's new experiments. 

Natasha had grown increasingly quiet, keeping an eye on Soto, but also a hand tangled in Maria's. Steve had kept quiet most of the ride but had to say the thing that had been bugging him.   
"You knew they were doing it to breaking her. You were on the receiving end of that once" stated Steve, his heart going out to his friend. Natasha gave him the smirk she reserved for when she was talking of her past. It wasn't sad, it simply was what it was.   
"I've been on both ends of that." Steve still felt his heart go out to her but now he also felt a shiver up his spine. "You should spend some time on the internet Steve. Now that SHIELD is gone there's a lot about me to know, and it's out there for anyone with Google to find." Maria squeezed her hand and Natasha rested her head on the former Assistant Director's shoulder as she kept watch over the young operative.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Fidget's recovery was going well. She was recovering in a level of her own in Stark Tower. Tony had provided her with more than enough things to tinker with and books to read but had also removed all the cameras and Jarvis from the floor to make her more comfortable. The floor itself had two master bedrooms one of which was being used by Fidget and the other by Maria and and Natasha.   
Maria was able to do most of her work from there and Natasha was taking time off to help with Fidget's recovery. 

The extraction had made this a recovery for Natasha in some ways as well and Sam stopped by every day to talk if they wanted to or just hang out. Natasha had been reminded of who she used to be in a dark way and it didn't sit well with her. She suspected the others thought it was the facility that got to her, but she had forced the information from the Lieutenant on duty without hesitation. And that's what had her a bit conflicted. She didn't regret it. Not in the slightest, Fidget had become part of her family. An odd mix between a foster child and younger sibling. But Natasha had gone there to get her back and he was going to tell her what he knew or die. 

It wasn't that she hadn't killed people for SHIELD before, she had. She supposed that since SHIELD had fallen she was a little more hesitant when it came to orders, but she knew why she was there and what the goal was. Maybe it was that this was all Hydra's doing and it had been happening despite her and Maria's watch over Fidget. Then there was the facility itself. She remembered it as a horrific place that she had spent six years of her childhood. She had returned to find it had only grown more terrifying and she hadn't thought that possible. Maria knew something was wrong though and wanted to help, even if it was only by being there, but Natasha felt guilty for reasons she couldn't quite explain.  

The first sign that Fidget was getting better was when Sharon had stopped by and was working at the living room table with Maria with on paper work she'd brought to finish. A post-its pad had been left on the coffee table at some point apparently because a small paper airplane flew over the back of the couch and landed on the table between them. This was steadily followed by more elaborate airplane designs flying over and air bombing them. It was safe to say Fidget was feeling a little better.

 

The first sign that something was bothering Natasha was when Maria realized that when she wasn't with Fidget, she seemed to be shying farther and farther away from everyone. It had taken her a day to figure it out, but the night in between had seemed especially cold with Natasha not wanting to be held and Maria not knowing what to do. 

The following afternoon while Fidget was sleeping, Maria found the red head curled up on the couch watching it rain from the window across the room. Maria sat behind her, undeterred when she tried to scoot away.   
"I knew about your past from the beginning. It doesn't bother me-"   
"Is this the part where you say my past makes me the person I am? The strong and fearless Avenger willing to fight for everyone?" asked Natasha cuttingly. It didn't phase Maria in the slightest.

"I could. But what I was going to say was more along the lines of it allows you to be able to help Fidget more than the rest of us would ever be able to. You constantly provide support and remind us of what we can and can't control. You did for Clint after Loki and Steve after he saw Barnes. You do for me constantly and it helps me continue to keep going. Honestly, without your support I don't think I would have known what to do when SHIELD fell. Everyone has a past, some with ones they are proud of and others with ones they wish they could erase. I know you've never been proud of your past, but you also knew that there was no point in trying to avoid or change it. I have to tell you, at the moment I'm not so proud of my past-."

"Being the female Assistant Director of SHIELD?"

"-and have Hydra conducting their affairs right under my nose? Jasper Sitwell was in my office almost daily! And not only was he a Hydra operative, but he was helping continue the experiments on Fidget by feeding them all her medical data!" Tony had found that all of Fidget's most recent medical data had already been obtained by Hydra and was used as a baseline when they went to start further experiments. Sitwell's intel was also how they knew that Maria, Natasha, and Sharon were the three people that would be best used to break her.

"It's probably how they also knew my old training facility would be the perfect place to set up shop" muttered Natasha darkly, as she finally gave in and leaned into Maria's side. Maria continued to run her fingers through Natasha's hair, the motion soothing her as well.

"I didn't want you going in because in some stupid part of my head, I was afraid they'd capture you and you'd never come out again. I know you can more than take care of yourself but I couldn't risk it" whispered Maria.   
"She was still in there-"

"I wasn't leaving without her either, Natasha. For some reason, you both have become very important to me. I certainly never anticipated becoming so attached to not one but two former assassins to the point where life without them didn't seem possible" mumbled Maria more to herself than to Natasha. But Natasha heard anyway and drew Maria closer around her. 

* * *

It was true that Fidget was doing better, but there was still things she was working on. The first time she came and curled into Maria's side, Maria hadn't said anything and had simply continued working, but hadn't exactly known what to do. Clint explained when he visited later that Natasha used to do something similar when they first started working together. They would sleep in shifts but she would only sleep if part of her body was against his. That way if something happened or he was hit, she would know instantly. Clint figured Fidget's actions had more to do with reminding herself that Maria was real through the sound of her breathing and heartbeat but also feeling safe somewhere she wasn't familiar.  

Fidget also made a point of avoiding her classic horror novels for the time being. When Natasha asked her about it she responded that despite the elegant phrasing and monster's struggles it never ended well for the monster. That had earned her an irritated punch in the shoulder from the red head who then yanked Sam over the back of the couch and next to Fidget. "Fix her. She thinks she's a sad sack of a Victorian monster" ordered the ex-KGB spy. Sam lifted an eyebrow at Fidget. Before they could get into anything, Tony came in and dumped a pile of tshirts on Fidget's head. Maria and Pepper had followed him into the room, the sight of Tony with his arms filled with clothes being some what suspicious.   
"I risked spraining my wrist giving autographs today by going out and getting you a tshirt for each Avenger and some that have all of us on them" said Tony, pointing to his sore wrist. Fidget grinned at the shirts but then raised her eyebrows and pointed at Natasha.   
"None of them have the Black Widow on them. Can't accept your gift until you actually have all the Avengers" said Fidget crossing her arms.   
"What?" blurted Tony.   
"They make they too. Saw a Black Widow leather jacket and shirt in lots of store windows. Hey, do you think they make Falcon shirts?" commented Fidget as she leaned back into the sofa.   
"What?" asked Tony again.   
"Looks like Tony might have a little more shopping to do" said Pepper, not bothering to hide her smile as she ruffled his hair.   
"Hey Tony, why don't you take Steve and Clint with you!" called Fidget after the stunned super hero. The three of them had caused a lab mishap with Bruce that had resulted in an explosion, so she was giving them a bit of a hard time on his behalf.  

Natasha brought the focus back to Fidget. "Fix her Sam, or I'll have to try the method I used on Clint" threaten Natasha. Fidget shrugged.   
"I brought a helmet for that, just in case." Seeing Maria give her a look from the door way, Fidget settled in and turned towards Sam. "My head is finally getting back to the point where it can function again and I'm realizing that the only good thing I actually helped make was going to be used to kill everybody. I don't even know how much of that I can claim as mine now" stated Fidget in a very similar way to how Natasha did when she was stating facts. 

"Okay, first they didn't put thoughts in your head. That design was awesome and so much so that Tony Stark wanted your help with the project. Second, you helped destroy it" explained Sam. It was why Sitwell had wanted Maria back in New York. That way he could monitor any contact she had with Stark and prevent any possible tampering with Hydra's endgame. Fidget leaned back and sighed, still not completely satisfied with the answers. She hadn't needed anyone to tell her that she had undoubtably once been part of Hydra's plan as well. Like the Hulk had rampaged from within the helicarrier, Hydra had probably planned to unleash their carefully engineered assassin with regenerative abilities. Since she had been paired with some of SHIELD's top operatives it was assumed that was Hydra's plan to use her to get them out of the way. Whether Hydra's experiments on Fidget hadn't been completed or they hadn't anticipated Fidget becoming so close to Maria and Natasha, it wasn't clear to Tony or Bruce why Fidget hadn't tried to kill anyone other than Hydra operatives, something Hydra wanted to repair as quickly as possible and had resulted in her kidnapping.   
"Hey, don't go keeping it all swirling in your head and to yourself now. Sharing is caring you know" said Sam as he made himself more comfortable on the sofa. Maria had gone over and was sitting on the arm of Natasha's chair. 

"I'm thinking that Captain Flashback was right to be scared when we rescued Maria" commented Fidget as she closed her eyes and let her head rest on the back of the couch.   
"Captain Flashback?" Sam couldn't help the snort of laughter at the nickname for his friend. Whenever Fidget tried to explain what she was building to Steve he got this really confused look on his face that had her relating her invention to things he had growing up which meant the explanations took a while.   
"I think Sitwell informed me of what was happening to set up my being there. I think I was supposed to be broken then. Maybe given Hydra a start then, taken out the Assistant Director of SHIELD and three Avengers. Think about it, I would have had Clint after me in a second and Fury would have sent an army with him, leaving Hydra with pretty much free reign of the Triskelion." The unsettling feeling in the room gave them a feeling of the mental torment Fidget had been putting herself through. "Bruce says it's because they screwed up whatever they were trying to do. Now I'm just screwed up instead of an apathetic ruthless killer." 

"Also, now whenever she pushes herself too hard, not giving her body enough time to heal itself before continuing to push it further, she will now experience brain hemorrhages" commented Dr. Banner from the doorway. 

"No worries though, no lasting effects since I heal" added Fidget with a waive of her hand.   
Natasha was familiar with the side effects of experimentation. Like Fidget she had been a subject as a child and healed quickly as a result. Not as quickly, but she knew the part that most didn't. Just because she and Fidget healed quickly, didn't mean they did so without pain. The pain that a normal person would experience while their broken arm healed she and Fidget would experience that pain during the days or week at most it took them to heal. But you would never hear any complaining from either of them, it having been trained out of them. It was one of the reasons Maria did her best to keep them in Medical as long as they were supposed. Well, she tried too. 

Natasha didn't see what the problem was though.  Yes, things could have been worse, but they hadn't been.  It was like when Natasha joined SHIELD all over again.  Yes, she could have run or betrayed them, but she hadn't.  She had stayed.  They would treat this the same way and Fidget would heal from her wounds and they could all leave Stark Tower and go home.  She knew that with SHIELD gone, a lot of things were going to change, but they still had their homes and she still had her family and that was all that she needed.  

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Natasha thought back. Back to her asking Maria out on a second date. It was unfamiliar territory for her since usually after the first date she was either gone or the mark came to her. So when she sought Maria out she had stared at the Assistant Director for five minutes while the woman waited for her to find her nerve and then AD Hill carried on with her paper work, not putting any pressure on her while she collected herself. When she did ask, it came out more like an order than a request, but Maria hadn't laughed. Her eyes had simply gone a bit soft and she'd given her a bright smile and accepted. Natasha had felt happier than she could ever remember until she realized she had to come up with something for them to do on their date.  

This was different though. She could tell by Fidget's face that she knew what this was about but it didn't make it any easier. There was also the fact that while she had Maria to lean on, Fidget didn't have anyone. Well, to the best of her knowledge she'd become fairly close to Jane Foster, but she hadn't contacted her and Natasha wasn't going to interfere.  

Bruce Banner had been going over all the data they had retrieved with Tony and they'd come across video footage and medical records of three individuals. There was a J. Bohm, A. Robbins, and Z. Adams. However, there was a notation next to Adams: derived from Soto.  

Natasha wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't because she was void of all emotion as Tony often joked that she and Maria were, making them perfect together. It was because Fidget seemed to, for lack of a better term, shut down.   
"So Bulgar wasn't lying then" said Fidget, somewhat relieving Natasha's nervousness. At least they were still this side catatonic. "I'm- I'm going to call Jane, okay?" Natasha nodded and went to find Maria.  

It was a nice aspect of their relationship, the fact that she and Maria understood that sometimes they just needed each other. No words, no explanations, sometimes it was just a bit of contact or sometimes just being in the same room was enough. So Maria continued to answer phone calls with Pepper while Natasha lounged on the sofa across from them. She must have fallen asleep at some point because when she awoke her head was in Maria's lap and Pepper was gone. Natasha turned her head towards the doorway but Maria answered her before she even asked. 

"She's watching a special on constellations on mute with Jane and Darcy on Skype." Fidget had taken an interest in the stars and the different mythologies behind them. Something that Darcy liked to add to or create new ones for and see if Fidget could tell.  

"I've never thought of myself as very maternal. You know, what with taking care of a child when they're sick and tucking them in. Although if I was in Fidget's situation I guess I still wouldn't have to be since the reports said the child was eleven years old." It took her a moment to notice the smile creeping across Maria's face. "What?"   
"Nothing." Natasha poked her in the side where she knew she was ticklish, causing Maria to jump a little.   
"What!"   
"What exactly would you call what you've been doing for Fidget ever since she's been with SHIELD?"   
"Mentoring."   
"Okay then, we'll go with that for now." As they the silence went on the full weight of the situation settled on them. Somewhere in the world there were three children, that they knew of, that HYDRA had experimented on. No, wait. There were three they had footage of but there had been five names. The last two were W. and P. Maximoff. Still, knowing what little they knew about Fidget, there was no telling what sort of abilities her child might have. Also, the fact that the child was biologically hers although she'd never carried the child much less known of her existence.  

Checking in on Fidget like the total surrogate parents they deny they are, they over hear part of the on-going Skype chat.   
"If Orion wanted to be taken seriously he'd get suspenders....totally set that one up for you Darcy."   
"No way, Soto. There is no way Orion is giving up his vintage belt buckle collection!" retorts Darcy over the laptop while Jane laughs at them both in the background. After confirming that take out for dinner was fine and that Pepper was joining them they went to clear off the table while Fidget signs off. 

Fidget is healed for the most part, the only lingering concern being the wounds that appeared and disappeared those first few days when her injuries were the most severe. Bruce still wasn't sure what to make of that. Fidget hadn't ever come back with wounds too serve so there was no way to know if this was a new development or not. 

* * *

It was some weeks later when Fidget was coming back from a mission with Sharon when Steve approached them.   
"Soto, what does the name Maximoff mean to you?" He was instantly met with a glare from Sharon. She knew that Maria and Natasha had talked about the Maximoff's with Fidget before, and Rogers was up to something if he wasn't willing to bring it up in front of them.   
"Wanda and Pietro? They were other lab rats like me. Word of advice? Stay out of their way."   
"So they're hostile" stated Steve as he crossed his arms. Fidget stopped changing into her converse from her boots and slowly turned to Steve.   
"Wouldn't you be a bit hostile if you were still being held captive after god knows how many years? I don't know how old they were when they were taken and they can't remember anymore. Pietro's ability is speed, and his cell is small. So most of his time being held prisoner, when he's not being used as a lab rat, is spent as a human rubber ball banging against walls and being constantly dizzy. Wanda's powers have her in a calmer state, but no less angry. I suspect that should we meet up, they'll be more than a little pissed at me for not looking for them. And now that you mention it, I do feel guilty about having not thought about them at all until Nat and Maria brought them up."   
"But you've been searching for them since then?" asked Steve, more attentive but also seeming slightly alarmed.   
"She's been helping me and Banner try and locate them. Hopefully we can rescue them and any others and destroy the facility after getting all the data we can from it" said Tony as he joined them.   
Sharon guessed Steve was still frustrated at being unable to find Bucky and was probably worried that experiments were still being continued on his friend.   
"What exactly do you think you are, Rogers?" asked Fidget as stood in front of him. She was standing at her tallest, but since that was only five foot seven, he still towered over her.   
"An Avenger" answered Steve evenly.   
"So is Tony, so is Bruce. No, you're the super soldier" mocked Fidget.   
"I took part of the Super Soldier program out of dedication to my country!" barked Steve, going toe to toe with Fidget.   
"And you think the rest of us didn't?! Me, Nat, Wanda, Pietro?! You don't think at some point we weren't told it was for the greater good? That we were aiding our country? That I was letting them mess with my head just for fun? Before we were lab rats we were the ones watching everyone die, so when I was told I could help I said take whatever you need. Of course then after a while I didn't even remember saying it. I still don't, but Sharon found that video footage so I know I did. Not every lab rat is evil Steve. They've just been terrorized and tormented for so long that they don't know what anything else looks like and have a whole lot of anger besides." With that, Fidget left with Sharon, the agent going to give her a ride to her apartment. For his credit, when Sharon looked over her shoulder, Steve seemed to be lost in thought having taken her words to heart. 

* * *

Having not bothered to put on her shoes, Fidget made her way inside her apartment. Her little going off at Steve had taken a bit more out of her than she'd anticipated. She'd order him a stuffed flying monkey in the morning. She hadn't closed the door yet when she sensed the presence of someone else in her apartment.   
"Hey Lady! You're out of ice!" yelled Darcy from the kitchen.

"Darcy!  How did you use that much ice?  Natasha let us in" explained Jane as she peeked around one of the bookcases.  

"Yes, because we decided to visit since you didn't sound like you've been having nearly enough fun in your life. I mean recently injured? And not even a cool injury!" 

"What exactly _is_ a cool injury?" asks Fidget as she hangs up her jacket. 

"I don't know! Like getting Thor's hammer imprinted on your forehead because you fell on it or Tony accidentally giving you a tattoo with one of his Iron Man lasers!" theorized Darcy, having given it a lot of thought. Still, it brought a smile to Fidget's face. 

"Tonight is to Cameron!" announced Darcy with a margarita ( _where had that come from?_ )  Darcy had an on going thing of trying different "C" names and trying to find one that suited Fidget best.  "Because Fidget just doesn't work on a resume."  The rest of the night was a hazy mix of bowling, nachos, and somehow cotton candy from an automated machine.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other two names (Bohm and Robbins) are from the series TOUCH. Whenever I need awesome kids with abilities it's them. Zoe Adams is from the series ALPHAS though but she did play Summer Glau's kid.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days later when Fidget sees the others, she tosses something at Steve's face. He catches it only to discover that it's a stuffed flying monkey. Sharon sees it (not knowing that it was a gift) and remarks that it's adorable. Bruce, who had been trying to hide a grin, is now trying to suppress out right laughter now. Steve turns towards Sharon but sees that she and Fidget are half way down the corridor. He hears Sharon ask

"So should I call you Carmen now?" and Fidget respond with a groan. Over the weekend Fidget had come to despise the name Carmen and any mixture of nachos and cotton candy.

Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis hadn't just shown up to cheer up SHIELD's young operative. Dr. Banner had found evidence that Hydra was using something related to the stars to share their data and keep it of the grid. Hopefully they'd be able to narrow down the area or actually locate it now. Jane and Darcy know what happened to their friend but weren't going to talk about it unless Fidget wanted to. Well, at least that's what Jane had agreed to.

"Listen up Chloe, just so you know I saw Resident Evil Retribution and I'll remember that it's the scarab and not you coming after us if you go bad." Fidget had raised an eyebrow around her burrito, just like Sharon had from across the table.

"Thank you?" came the mumbled reply.

"You're most welcome. Just letting you know that I know Sharon here does, but I've got your back too" stated Darcy with a firm nod of her head. Sharon rolled her eyes but she noted the smile that crept onto her partner's face.

Maria found Fidget or "Chloe" as Darcy insisted her name was for the day, curled up reading about the Persians in the lab while Bruce and Jane poured over star maps. Part of it was connected to phases of the moon, but there had to be more factors than that. Tony had taken a shot at trying to figure out the type of facility by having Fidget go over everything she could remember about the Maximoffs or anyone else they did tests on. To contain the type of momentum Pietro could generate made an underground facility unlikely due to possibility of cave in. Part of the testing included having them fight against each other to analyze weaknesses. With Fidget's regenerative ability, her fighting would have to be above standard if she wanted to avoid constant pain.

* * *

Sharon and Soto were providing Coulson's team with back up.

"So how many ghosts are there now?" asked Fidget aloud.

"Hmm?"

"Fury, Coulson, how many other fake funerals have there been?"

"Maria's still alive. Although she is working for Stark" said Sharon with a wince, checking her weapon for the fifth time out of boredom.

"For Pepper. But yeah, given what comes out of that building, there is cause for concern. Maria has good reflexes though." At that moment Jemma and Skye come running out carrying some kind of machine between them with Agent Triplett hopping out to help them into a van that May was rapidly backing up. Fidget and Sharon took care of the goons following them as they made their getaway. They still managed to catch the "Was that really Agent 13?" as the doors closed and the van drove off.

"If you're still smirking by the time we get to the car, you're walking back" grumbles Sharon.

* * *

Maria was less than pleased to get a call past midnight on a night that she was actually in bed and asleep. On the other end she heard a frantic Darcy. She tried to calm the intern down while she felt Natasha move behind her and toss her a pair of jeans. It would seem that Fidget had been managing her sleep somehow but when faced with exhaustion, she was plagued by nightmares.

When they reached Fidget's place less than ten minutes later, they found Jane doing her best to hold Fidget's arms away from her neck. There were red cuts where her nails had dug into her skin. Sharon appeared at the door followed by Bruce. Together they managed to safely get her transported to the medical area of Stark Tower. After administering a sedative that Bruce had developed for himself (without success) Fidget finally settled.

 

"How long has this been going on?" asked Tony.

"How would we know? Until Darcy called we had no idea!" explained Maria.

"You both are practically her surrogate parents" exclaimed Tony as he collapsed into a nearby chair.

Clint came in with Bruce a minute later with a lock box that had clearly been broken into.

"Found this at her place" said Clint, feeling the full force of Natasha's death glare. She was going to kill him for raiding the kid's place.

"So she's been drugging herself to stay functional" stated Steve as he crossed his arms.

"Actually, no. All of the meds are here. Every last pill is accounted for" started Bruce as he pulled off his glasses and tiredly wiped at his eyes. "I think her previous experience as a test specimen makes her fearful of all medications. All the pain relievers and sleeping pills are here despite how much pain she must have been in but it does explain her larger than usual intake of Diet Mountain Dew lately."

"Diet?" asked Sharon.

"No harsh sugar crash later" explained Natasha, her glare now alternating between Steve and Clint.

"So what now?" asked Jane. The others turned towards her, they had forgotten she was there. Well, odds were Maria and Natasha hadn't forgotten.

"We let her sleep and then let her go home" announced Bruce.

"Dr. Banner, you can't be serious! She--" began Steve.

"Harmed no one but herself which we can deal with when she's awake. Her work hasn't been effected and she is up to date with all her paper work" interjected Sharon. She was one of the few people that could make Steve flinch with just a look. 

* * *

When Fidget awoke one of the first things she spotted was her med lock box broken open on a table outside her room. The other thing was that she wasn't in her room. Her stuffed T Rex was here though, so she relaxed a bit at that.

"You looked like you were looking for something to grab in your sleep, so I went back to your place and searched your bed and found him" explained Jane.

"Thanks" replied Fidget as she pulled the dinosaur closer. "Did I hurt you or Darcy?"

"No, just your neck. You started shaking pretty bad and then scratching at your neck with both hands and I had Darcy call Maria. Then everyone was there" explained Jane.

A knock on the door frame announced Maria's presence. Fidget gave Jane's hand a squeeze as she got up to go.

"Tell Darcy I say okay to the name lotto, but only Pepper can draw the winner, Darcy can't flood the bowl, and Carmen isn't even a contender." Jane nodded with a laugh and left.

So, you're a hoarder. Movies, music, books, and medications that relieve pain and help you sleep" said Maria as she took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Before you ask...well, you weren't going to ask, were you? Just wait for me to start talking. I see what you did there. I didn't think any of you were trying to drug me or hurt me. Make sure JARVIS heard that so that he can play it back for Steve and Tony later."

"And the reason you didn't trust me or Natasha or Sharon with this?" asked Maria, her face betraying some of the hurt she felt. There weren't many that she considered family but those she did, she would like to think would come to her with their problems. Fidget avoided her gaze for a moment, not entirely sure what to do with the guilt she felt.

"I didn't always remember. I mean do you remember every time you have a nightmare? My scratches had healed by morning and if I did remember, I figured it was just a bad night and would pass" answered Fidget with a shrug. Maria nodded, having had similar hopes when it came to night terrors. She didn't have as many now that she was with Natasha. On nights that Nat wasn't there, the sheets still smelled like her and kept her safe burrowed in her scent.

"And I've gotten used to them, you know?  I've always had them and normally it's just tremors but I heal so..." answers Fidget with a shrug.  Maria doesn't miss the wince when she shrugs.  

"You're as bad as Natasha and Sharon, you know.  Me too I guess.  But Bruce and Tony are trying to help despite Tony's stellar bedside manner.  I know that you don't trust all of us and that's fine, but at least trust me when I tell you that Natasha and I just want you healthy and safe."  

At that, Fidget leans back and lets out a deep sigh.  

"The pills just make my head all fuzzy again.  I can't control where my thoughts go and if they go dark I can't turn them back.  There's too much blood and everything smells so metallic and I can't get back and when I wake up the apartment is empty.  But without breaking into your place and seeing that you're both okay or showing up at Sharon's, I just have to wait until morning and that makes it hard to go back to sleep.  And I'm just getting my head on straight again so a night of paranoia isn't the best thing before providing Sharon with back up."  

"We'll figure this out, maybe get you a pet.  Jane and Darcy are all for bunking with you, Jane says you place is luxurious compared to how small her airstream is.  But you're forgetting that Natasha, Sharon, and I aren't exactly push overs" says Maria.  Fidget takes another deep breath and settles in for a nap.  

Maria walks out of the room to find Bruce and Steve waiting for her.  

"The current sedative we're using shouldn't effect her dreams at all" reassures Bruce before looking over her charts again.  

"So that's it?" asks Steve.  Nothing about this feels right to him.  "If she's the one watching Sharon's back, I want some reassurances that-" starts Steve before he's cut off by Sharon.  

"I trust her with my life.  I will also be taking first watch, for nightmares and unwanted visitors.  i can't imagine feeling someone glaring at you through a wall helps you sleep any better" says Sharon, narrowing her eyes at Steve.  

Natasha watched from down the hall with Clint.  

"You fixed her place up, right?  The mess yo made?" she asks.  

"No mess.  The lock box was in the cupboard under the bathroom sink.  I like her Nat, and I get why she didn't take them, but convincing Cap, Phil, and Tony to trust her."  

"You mean due to her lack of addiction?  She gets things done, despite her demons.  Just like I've always done.  The more they take issue with her, the more I have to wonder if they've had these lingering doubts about me" says Natasha.  

"Nat...."

"At least I know who I can trust.  Maria, Sharon, and Bruce, and you, have no problem with her or me.  Yeah she can be violent, but so was the Black Widow when she first arrived.  It takes time to adjust.  And the Maximoffs were her friends and I'm betting she's having some survivor's guilt in that lovely mixture of trauma in her modified mind of hers, and all the added pressure isn't helping.  Maria and I are done talking.  You see if you can get them to listen, otherwise we're taking her out of this all together for her mental safety.  Screw what Steve and Phil have to say about it."    
With that she walks over to meet Maria and after a nod to Sharon, leave the building for the night.  

 


	10. Chapter 10

The situation Fidget finds herself in does little to calm the worries she normally has when she wakes up.  She's covered in papers.  

"What's happening now?"

"Sorry!  Sorry, um, my research kind of got more spread out than I meant it to" says Jane as scoops her papers.  

"Research?  On a location for the Maximoffs?" asks Fidget as she sits up.  

"No, sorry.  It seems that Loki's staff thing was taken in the HYDRA conflict and I'm thinking it might be used as a way to store information somehow" explains Jane as she spreads out her drawings and notes again.  Fidget is looking over the notes when Jane pushes a to go box into her line of vision.  "Brought breakfast as well."  

"You are my favorite person!" says Fidget, surprising Jane with a hug.  "Breakfast and a puzzle, yay!"  

Natasha watches from the doorway and smiles, relieved to see a smile on Fidget's face after the hellish night before.  Natasha is all too familiar with the vividness of dreams, having had her share of nightmares as well.  With her ledger as it is, she's had dreams that have had her literally drowning in blood.  Dreams of being the hand behind the trigger that ends Maria, that ends Clint, that end Nick.  It took sometime for her to work free of their grasp but she managed with Maria's help.  At the time it was her just seeing to it that she got the help she needed and had time and made Clint available for her when she needed him.  It wasn't a lot but it helped more that Natasha had thought it would.  Talking with Clint helped because it didn't mean they had to talk about the dreams, just talk about anything and it helped.  

Now, she has Maria.  She tries to be there for Maria when she suffers from her own nightmares, but it's hard having no experience with comforting of her own.  None that wasn't faked at least.  But to see Fidget have Jane be there for her gives her hope.  Whether or not something develops between the two, Natasha knows how important it is to have someone who has seen her fall apart, seen her harm herself unintentionally, and not be afraid.  

"Hey Jane, there's a cabin that Tony owns that Bruce says would be a good spot to gather astrological data.  Do you mind if Fidget and Sharon along with Maria and I  up there with you and Darcy for a mini vacation of sorts?"  

"Really?  Um, sure!  That's if everyone wants to go" says Jane carefully.  

"Only if I can bring my t rex and a kite" says Fidget.  

* * *

"That's what she said?" asks Steve.  

"Well, she can't simply take her, no matter what her intentions are" argues Phil, crossing his arms.  

"I don't think you understand.  Your new Director status means less than nothing when it comes to their family and both Maria and Nat see Fidget as family.  So do I for that matter, and I'll help them if you go after her.  Besides, if Nat tells her to run, we're not going to find her without their help" explains Clint.  Seeing that it hasn't helped very much, Clint decides to lay it out.  

"They don't trust you"

"Yeah, well I don't trust her either" argues Steve.  

"Not Fidget, Maria and Natasha.  Sharon either.  Tony they don't trust with her because he might inadvertently turn her into a lab rat again-"

"Hey!" protests Tony.  

"Not on purpose and not that you'd experiment on her, but taking continuous blood samples and brain scans has her feeling just like an experiment again.  As for Cap and Coulson, they don't trust either of you not to leave her behind or decide to end her yourselves.  Not that you would do that with Barnes despite what he's done or with Skye given what she is.  Nat's afraid you're treating her like you really see her, and the more I see, the less I disagree.  She's good at what she does and does only what we ask her to.  She's making friends and adjusting and even looking past our screw up that got her kidnaped.  Fix it, or Nat and Maria take her and we might not see any of them again" says Clint before leaving without giving them a chance to reply.  

* * *

"She is doing lots better than I expected" says Tony.  Melinda had been listening and so had Sam, both having reservations but not to the extent of the others.  

"How so?"  

"She doesn't drink.  She shared that with me when she offered one to me.  Assured me that it'll always be sparkling cider or ginger ale because that's what she normally drinks.  She doesn't do drugs or self medicate.  Having dabbled in that myself, that was a concern of mine.  She doesn't have a death wish and is adjusting.  Clint's right, she's doing everything she can while dealing with her own demons.  I'm sure you and Phil had similar worries when Romanov first arrived" explains Tony as he stretches his arms behind his head.  

"But would you want her watching your six, Tony" asks Steve.  

"Natasha trusts her.  Maria trusts her.  That's saying a lot considering their standards.  Also, Phil you've had her back up your team.  You can't tell me you have all these worries and still trust them with Jemma, Fitz, and Skye" argues Tony.  Phil seems to concede this and Steve is left to think about his friendship with Natasha.  

* * *

Darcy had jumped at the chance of a road trip.  Suddenly, things like the WII had to come along too.  

"How are we supposed to relax if no one is fighting zombies?!"  

"How are we supposed to relax if people are fighting zombies?" countered Maria.  Ironically, Maria turned out to be the best player.  Natasha managed to kill two cows accidentally.  Sam and Max seemed to be the most ridiculous and enjoyable game that they had though.  

Jane spent the first few hours getting all of her equipment set up with Fidget's help.  By night fall, she was ready with her laptop and notebooks recording everything she could while Fidget repaired some of the handmade equipment still laying about.  Maria joined them at some point along with Sharon.  When Natasha and Darcy finally did, it was with hotdogs and more blankets.  When it gets to be too cold, they drag Jane inside where they crawl into beds or the couch and inflatable mattress in the living room.  Darcy calls the mattress and cuddles up with her pillow filled with packages of marshmallows.  

 

 

 


End file.
